What NOT to do to Get that Job, From an Unexpected Insider

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, TwentySomethings! I know it’s the weekend and the last thing you really care about is anything besides the color green and drunken debauchery.  Yet, while I have this moment, I want to share some valuable tips I’ve realized while watching my current place of work rapidly expand their employee base.

I’m usually the initial person a potential candidate will see once they enter our doors.  I, being fresh from the unemployed stage of a clever college grad myself, will be forever stunned with what my peers think they can get away with when interviewing.  Those articles you’ve read about job searching weren’t lying.  It’s a good idea to keep common sense about you.

So take heed, and good luck – may the force be with you.

-       Don’t forget your application!  Even if you electronically sent one, bring some extra hard copies in your portfolio.  Throw some extra resumes in there, too.  You never know who may drop in unexpectedly during your interview (it really happens).

-       Read the damn email.  I have no idea how many times people forget something we’ve requested because they merely skimmed the email.

-       Don’t be late, but don’t be stupidly early either. It turns out your interviewer is most likely doing other things with their day other than just seeing you. Being early is always a good thing, but don’t overdue it.  Two hours sitting in the lobby will not get you any closer than that other guy who came 15 minutes early.  It really just comes across as bad time management.  And you’re much better than that.

-       Be NICE.  To EVERYONE.  They ask the receptionist too, you know.  I’ve seen candidates that were at the top of the list get booted off as soon as the interviewer found out about what fools they were acting like down the hall.

-       Maintain your professionalism at all times.  Just because you’re standing in front of the elevator doesn’t mean we still can’t see you.  And you don’t know whom that is standing NEXT to you in the elevator either.  Save the last minute adjustments for your car or the bathroom stall.

-       For everyone’s sake DRESS NICE. Nobody’s going to chastise you for dressing TOO good. Just be professional.  A prom dress or even dark wash jeans won’t make you look any smarter or a better choice.  This is unique to the company, but err on the side of professional. Please.

-       Sorry, I’m all for self-expression, independence and personal freedom, but guess what?  You want a job?  You’re going to have to play the game, even if it’s just for a little while so you can get that paycheck and move on to something more fulfilling.  It’s really cool you like metal bands, I like some metal bands too. But you won’t see me looking like the bass player of Cradle of Filth anytime soon.  And if it’s an office job 9 to 5 you're going for, you shouldn't look like him, either. At least during that 9 to 5 stretch…if you can make it.

-       See that candy dish on the receptionist’s desk?  It is for everyone.  And you might be safe to gamble and snatch some.  But chances are, if you dig into that bowl like a greedy two year old...you’ll look like a greedy two year old - without a job.

-       It’s recommended that while looking at potential college campuses to ask/irritate current students how they like it there.  This principle changes a bit for the workplace, however.  Chances are, if you walk up to an employee at your place of interview and ask if they like their job...they’re going to say yes, even if it’s a bold face lie.  They probably need the paycheck, and telling a stranger how they really feel puts that revenue into danger.  You’re better off looking online for workplace reviews where these people can hide under the anonymity of the Internet.  Then they'll talk.  And oh, will they talk.

-       ASK QUESTIONS.  Show you’re listening.  If you are a good candidate you probably did some research about the place. Show that knowledge off while maintaining a tactful demeanor.  Your interviewers won’t read your mind, even if they could.  They got enough bouncing around in their own brains.

It is my hope that these observations help you get a step closer to the job you’re reaching for.  Now go get ‘em.