Take Life and Smack it in the Face.

Hey, Twenty-Somethings, how's life? 

Some of us are still in post-graduate free-fall, hunting the job market arena like stealthy wolves in business clothes, resumes cocked and loaded.  Some of us have hit a fortunate turn, landing our first "real" jobs-the ones our goals have led us to.  And yet some of us are floundering while others are exactly where we want to be.  It's like a reality TV show with less of a tan. 

Yet one common thread I'm noticing among my peers is the longing to find something, whether that something is a job, a dream, or a companion.  Despite our best efforts to prove how independent and strong we are, us Twenty-Somethings always have the door open for a special person to waltz through.  We get our first places, we get our cars, we buy groceries with one serving in mind--hoping to one day share it all.  

And when it doesn't work out?  What happens when one venture turns sour?  Our hearts hurt, we doubt we'll ever be able to share again.  Some of us wallow, tailspin, or crash into Wiley Coyote's brick wall.  Then we pick ourselves up, dust off the Acme paint, and breathe.  After some hard-earned healing, we smile again.  

This time, that smile is wiser, more mature, and excited for the next opportunity.  We take the smile out for coffee, out with friends, out to the grocery store.  We are only an improvement of our selves.  Maya Angelou is quoted as stating, "I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it."     Why should all of the pain we feel, over any ordeal, be laid to waste?  Why not take the hurricane by storm until we realize it's strength and make it our own?  Within every unexpected change, with every painful or even happy experience, comes the chance for growth.  But we must choose to bloom.  Take life, look it straight in its crazy eyes, and smack it in the face.

The danger lies in dwelling.  In finding self-pity and letting it bind around us.  How are we to learn when we are huddled in the corner or under our beds?  The darkness will never let you see the light that way.  So don't let misery lead your life.  Choose to get better.  Choose to be happy, to feel sunshine on your back as you look out at life, renewed and ready.  

Don't be afraid to make those decisions that carry heavy.  Don't be afraid to feel sad, scared, alone.  These things must be endured to laugh, to conquer, and to share.  

When I was younger, I watched an interview with the legendary Bruce Lee.  Yes, that Bruce Lee.  I've always thought he was one of the coolest icons from the past, but was nonetheless surprised at something he shared with his viewers during that interview.  What he said stuck with me, and I still think of it often as it is relevant to many details in good ol' life.  He discussed how we must learn from the properties of water.  How it moves, forms, and reacts.  I found a quote that encapsulates what I heard on that re-airing so many years ago: 


"You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend." 

-Bruce Lee

Flexibility is key.  Go with the flow.   Take all you can learn from this life and seek the happiness, see the good.  There will always be pain and suffering.  There will always be evil whether it's in circumstance or hearts.  

But there will also always be good to share.  And that, fellow Twenty-Somethings, is damn refreshing.    

Want to Know Something Cool? Wisestamp.com. It's cool.

I haven't thought of email upkeep as being very glamorous.  To say the least, I haven't really looked at it in terms of it being a tool for social marketing.  It has more of an image as a needed endeavor, like flossing your teeth. Or cleaning your apartment.  You have to do it, you have to keep up with it...you don't always look forward to it.


Yet email is powerful for newsletters and some direct marketing...and now can assist you with promoting your personal brand image.  Wisestamp.com is a wicked awesome free email signature extension that cooperates with the likes of Gmail, Yahoo! Mail, Hotmail, and more.  You can create various signatures (one for business, one for play...one for Mom) and edit their text, color, and design.  But here's the cool part-you can include links to your social media sites, rss feeds, and email applications (random quotes, sign-offs, etc.).  Below your name will be a row of icons users can click that will bring them to your profile on major social networking sites-hello Facebook, Twitter, and you other significant guys.  You can also include a link to your Blogger site. Gooooooood. 


So there's my little social media marketing tip o' the day.  Wisestamp.com (go on, click it!) is a little free way to get your name out there.  And who doesn't love that?

Personal PR: A Bit of Flirting Advice for Us All

This is my own little declaration of personal PR.

As I sit in this coffee shop making a feeble attempt at being productive and wondering why this mug is so damn big, I am forced to listen in to conversations happening close by.   I just have to.  The headphones are somewhere in the abyss of the boxes floating between my car, the storage unit, and my parents' house a gazillion miles away.  And some of these people are so loud, they might as well just come out and say they want my audience.  What's a girl to do?  I hide behind this comically gigantic mug and Macbook screen and take it all in.  I wasn't getting much done anyway.

A young woman is to the right of me, appearing absorbed into her laptop and slurping on some gourmet coffee beverage complete with a little Mt. Everest of whipped cream.  Envisioning an ant-sized mountaineer shrieking "Alpaca!" as he struggles up the whipped cream hill, I jump when she starts to shriek herself.

"I tried calling you but you didn't answer! It's too cold in here.  And I'm starving.  And I wanted you to pull out the chicken."

Oh dear lord, she better not be talking to me.  I completely forgot about the chicken.  I see a professional looking man stride up to her and unload his sweater and laptop.  "Sorry."  He went and got a boring Diet Coke (international symbol for "I'm at this coffee shop because she is") and came back...I don't think she stopped talking the whole time.

"Guess how many calories are in this drink."

Silence.

"GUESS!"

"Uh...400."

"650!!! You are SO way off.  650! 650!!!"

"You, uh, gonna be alright?"  The guy looks at the drink in suspect, probably noticing it's already two-thirds gone.  She giggles.  A lot.  I decide to tune this round out, already inspired.

I'll be the first to admit, I'm no expert at flirting.  I never really honed the skill--hard to believe if you know me personally now, but at one time I was shy.  Yes, it's true.  That quality never really went away, it just faded.  But when it comes to the dating scene, it'll rear it's quiet head once in a while.  Then I beat it down with a smile and carry on.  With that said, I know enough about the game to know this, and I want to make sure you do too:

BITCHING DOES NOT EQUAL FLIRTING.


What this girl thought she was doing was flirting.  But, alas, her dude wasn't really even listening.  I am assuming they have been together long enough where he has learned her technique and can properly respond without listening.  It's a talent most guys possess, and they're usually pretty damn good at it.  This particular victim was already nodding before she spoke...rookie mistake.  She luckily didn't notice.  Or did what a lot of women can do and notice entirely (we have been on to you guys for years after all) but use it to continue to talk with a "captive" audience.

So did her technique work?  Only because they appear to have a history.  If this guy was a random looker and she tried the bitching technique, it more than likely would've resulted in Mr. McRandom packing up that laptop and sitting elsewhere.  Dear girl, nobody cares about your drink.  It doesn't make me even wince that you're sucking down 650 calories.  This guy might not even know what a calorie really is (he has other things to worry about besides his girlish figure).

My point is this: girls, if you want to flirt, just be yourself and smile with the confidence you have because you are a beautiful woman.  Don't act stupid, because you're not.  Don't dress they way you think you should, dress yourself (appropriateness kept in mind, of course.  Going to work and the club shouldn't look the same...unless of course you actually work at the club).  And for goodness sakes don't complain about menial details to people who don't want to hear it.  Getting tuned out really isn't that fun when you finally have something to say.

Guys, this applies to you too.  Not everyone cares that sports are awesome.  Yes, video games do rule, but remember there's more to life.  No, really, there is.  What you need to do is be interested in whatever the hell she's saying.  Respond using her answers to even prove you're only glazed over because of her stunning beauty and NOT because she's, ya know, talking about the Kardashians.  And PLEASE don't play those stupid love games.  "Wait three days before..." and "Don't act too interested" are not effective.  You like her?  Then don't do something stupid like make her wait or wonder.  You'll lose her.  If she's worth her salt, she already knows this and won't stick around long enough for you to play any of those tactics.  So be a gentleman.  The world would appreciate it.

I'm learning everyday guys and chicks operate under completely different systems.  It's a miracle we can get along and communicate at all at times.  The clearer we both are with our intentions the less misery we face.  So let's in the very least attempt to function under the agreement we will never fully understand each other.

Good luck, we're all counting on you.