Dissonance Much?

Hey Twenty-Somethings, long time no witty exchange!

Whether this post finds you undergoing the job search or serving the less-than-desirable job to make ends meet - or even living the dream - it's time for 2012.  Yes, it's either the end of the world as we know it, or another chance to make some resolutions to forget about by mid-February.

Here's an interesting angle on life while sorting resolutions, one that you'll think is complete bullshit until you experience it for yourself: dissonance when you logically have everything going for you.  Know what I'm talking about?  Maybe not.  But you will.  Oh, you will.

You see, Twenty-Somethings, you've worked so hard to be where you are.  Whether you're in the workforce or pursuing an education, you've made the choice to see what's beyond the paisley couch.  That's admirable.  Let's even venture to say you've made friends, get along with your family, even have a significant other that actually puts up with your "unique personality."  Roof over your head, food in your stomach, internet at your fingertips.  Your Klout score is even higher than average.  Life is good.

So why, then, do you feel this way?  Like something's missing, like something's unknown, like something is just plain not right.  You find your day-to-day less rewarding than before.  You don't know where you're going, those goals that you met haven't been replaced yet, and you look around to see everything whizzing past - you're in a free fall.

"What the hell?!" You grumble, "Didn't I just lift myself from this?  Shouldn't I be exuberantly happy to the point of pure disgust?  Life is good, it could be so much worse, I'm fortunate and lucky and appreciate every ounce of it."  Yet, you can't shake it.  Something itches.

Well, you can't just scratch it.  It could upset everything.  But has it ever occurred to you that perhaps you're meant for even more?  That this may be good, but why settle for good when you have great to try for?  Perhaps its a perspective thing.  This nasty little predicament can only really be addressed with another, yes ANOTHER, look inward.

Yeah, I know it, you just soul searched last Tuesday.  How can you fit another one in with everything going on?  Showering is sometimes hard to fit in.  And we all truly thank you for resigning to keep up that habit.  Really.  We mean it.  So here's a simple question - What makes YOU happy?

Oh, well, that's easy, laughter and clean underwear.  Ok, that's excellent, but what else?  Now this is where it gets tough.  Lets get down to the nitty gritty and dig.  You're going to need some booze, probably.  Don't make this activity a hassle, don't let cultural mores and norms act as filters, don't let your mind's voice tell you anything's stupid or impossible or wrong.  This is an exercise to find yourself.  The purer one, buried underneath all that you've learned and the culture you live in.  It's still there.  It's just dancing to Lil Wayne...so please, save it.

I plan to travel the world someday, and it's said that traveling is one way to peel back your walls and find that pure you again.  But I know my wallet isn't really ready for that right now.   And it's a good guess many of yours aren't either.  So travel a different way...separate yourself from your norm.  Switch up your routine.  Take a day to explore that park down the street you finally noticed yesterday.  Take  a drive.  Then get comfortable with pen and paper, or laptop, or stone and chisel, if you're so inclined.  Then write.  Remember nobody gets to see this but you, unless you want to share, and it doesn't even have to make sense to anyone but YOU.

This can be frightening.  What if you find you really want something that is nowhere near the direction you're heading?  Well, do you really want it?  If so, you're going to continue this dissonance until a breaking point.  Usually, breaking points aren't pretty...recall a certain B. Spears shaving her head and taking a baseball bat to a vehicle?  I'm guessing there was some sort of inner struggle there... Lets agree right now to not go Brittany Spears.  Ever.  It's Toxic.  See what I did there?  Pure gold.

So figure out a map to get to your happiness.  Take your time, but don't drag your feet.  And good luck, we're all counting on you.

To My Fellow Flounderers...

I'm finding that we Twenty-Somethings are in a challenging spot.  We have learned so much already, in our lives and academic trials, but Holy Unexpected Batman, there's a ton of stuff they didn't care to warn us about!  Finances, job hunting, heartache, vehicle smarts, unabated velcro...there's so much to figure out.

Most of us who have served our college time have learned to handle our own laundry and live off of small funds and lint for a chunk of time; those lessons are now in our arsenals for the future.  Yet, when we trotted across the stage in our Hogwarts-esque robes during the graduation ceremony, we had only a glimpse of the idea of what lied ahead of us.  We are perfectly aware of this economy...very aware.  So in order to prosper we have already prepared ourselves sufficiently by learning what we can when we can...then posting it on Facebook for all our friends.  Or so we hoped.

My mantra: keep your head up.  Just don't be stupid about it and drown yourself in the rain.  You may be hitting all sorts of walls, but this is NOT the time to throw in the tear-soaked towel.  Rather, this IS the time to dance around like a fool and discover yourself.  Think about it.  When was the last time you looked inward?  For the last several years we've been so busy fretting about school, work, family, friends, our goals, etc. that we strayed a bit from our original selves.  Through all this experience we've expanded our stories and opened our eyes.  That's the sort of stuff that changes a person...and in all the right ways.  So don't be afraid to see where your life has taken you and where you really stand now.  Maybe that major you eventually graduated with isn't your calling.  So what?  You've learned plenty from it to apply those skills to what really excites you.

Everything you've accomplished and weathered contributes to who you are and what you're capable of.  Use this knowledge to your advantage.  Take on the world or just the day.  It's all your choice, so just keep swimming, fellow flounderers.